The Spider Predicament

You know, I'm a huge fan and all but I swear to god if you don't start keeping your pals outside; I'm burning the place down. Got it Spider-Man?!

They'll be back.. in greater numbers! AHHH

Yep, I'm that wussy you and your buddies make fun of for fleeing a room due to a spider. You know what, you and your buddies can hoot it up because they will get you. Mark my words, spiders are the creepy bastards you least suspect, but then bam! There they are crawling your walls; creepily suspending from the ceiling and just plain and simply showing up where they aren't wanted.

Don't get me wrong, I understand the importance of spiders and the crucial role they play in the environment and all that. However, I believe they would be perfectly capable of doing said job outside. Along with any and all other creepy dwellers. Unless they start paying rent, they can stay the hell outta my apartment, that's just the way I see things. Now some of you may be wondering where this hate for spiders stems from, well allow me to entertain you.

You see dear blog reader, at the age of 6 I had to share a bedroom with my older sister (8 year age difference) and she had a love for spiders. That didn't bother me too much, even though she knew I found them gross... but you know what did? The fact that I found out the hard way that she kept spiders throughout the room we had to share. Guess who woke up in the dead of night getting crawled on by spiders? Yep, this poor unsuspecting (at the time) little girl! Not only did I wake up with spiders all over me; sending me off into a total freak out. No, she also thought to make up all these outrageous (but totally believable at the age of 6!) facts on spiders and Ta-Da! My Arachnophobia was born.

How spiders must view me

Needless to say I demanded my other sister's bedroom and forced the two closer in age to share. Pft, guess who also babied up to the eldest sister before the room switch happened? This girl. Guess who got a rude awakening from our eldest sister? Well, it sure as hell wasn't me. Karma; sometimes you got to take it into your own hands.

Now, if you'll excuse me.. I'm looking for a spider I attacked with a broom about 15minuts ago (Gotta make sure it's dead before I can sleep) while trying not to have a panic attack.

I could not survive Australia...


The next episode of chaos and sarcasm will air at that time the schedule says.. you know the one.