This ought to be interesting

Should be in bed getting some beauty sleep, instead I'm up devising multiple schemes for this weekends camping trip - might not be a priority but hey, screw it!


I mean, there are just so many ideas and possibilities to mess with my friends; how am I to narrow down the choices to the most epic? Everything I come up with is epic. Example? My one friend had mentioned earlier in the week how she hated the fact that she was now deemed an "Adult". Apparently the fact that she married just last year dawned on her, anyway, she had mentioned how she missed wearing a cape as a kid since it states and I quote "I'M HERE TO FUCK SHIT UP WHILE ALSO SAVING THE DAY!" So,  guess what rule we implemented for (and by that I mean, I told them) while camping - Yup - Capes must be worn throughout the weekend!

Yeah, it'll be something like that.

If you're camping anywhere in the general area of Canada this weekend, and see a group of 20-something year old's in capes, that would be us! You mad bro? Because you should be, if you aren't well.. you have no soul. Not only will we be the cool people wearing capes throughout the weekend; we'll be the awesome people with alcohol as well! The way that we see it is, why shouldn't we combine the downright badassery (Not an actual word, but oh well!) of our childhoods with the few cool things we've discovered in our short years of Adulthood? 


There is absolutely no reason not to! I mean.. aside from the looks we will undoubtedly get. Ranging from "Wtf?" to "Seriously, WTF?!". But really who cares? We don't, and it's all part and parcel of their envy. Just because we're older with more responsibly doesn't mean we can't cut loose and enjoy ourselves. Especially since the group of friends, who are fortunate to have yours truly for company, and myself rarely get together.. and these are people I've known for over 8 years. They're simply freaking amazing, and no matter how long we go in-between conversations and seeing one another.. we're all able to pick up right where we left off. That's friendship.


Now, encase any of you are actually wondering about what I mean when I say camping, allow me to clarify;

• Tents - Will be slept in, not an RV or other cop-out device!
• Air Mattresses - Are forbidden on the premises! If you fail to wake up with a sore back from sleeping on either a rock, stick or uneven ground; you aren't camping right and will be evicted.
• Food - Should be properly stored in coolers or nearby cars; not be left in tents over night. For when the desire of warm food arises, it shall be cooked on the open fire pit; no exceptions.
• Alcohol - When not being consumed should be cuddled; show it that you're thankful for it's powers.
• Wildlife - Shall be respected and not terrorized or fed near the camp area. I swear to god if someone feeds raccoons by my tent one more bloody time....!!!!
• Washrooms - You either walk to an outhouse or if you really need to go (or are male) will do so away from our camp grounds. Take that shit somewhere else.

Got it? Seriously, I refuse to be woken up by someone thinking there's a bear outside our tent again; especially when it's just raccoons getting into a bag of sugar left out by some dumb asses. It was 3am and no one got back to sleep in that tent, dammit! 


Alas, I'm getting sleepy and have errands (definitely not scheme related) to run later this morning; Nap time for me. 


The next episode of sarcasm  (and undoubtedly the tale of my glory) will air on May 28th! 

Happy May24 Canada!

So this one time, I had a super cool idea for a blog post... but then I thought "Eh, Screw it!" and decided to give you this lump of randomness instead. Deal with it.


Now I wouldn't say I'm hungover however, I'm definitely in that state where you have the inkling of a headache but are unsure whether or not it was caused by; A) Last night's alcohol intake or B) Sleeping like a hibernating grizzly bear in the mountains all day. I mean, how am I suppose to decipher these mixed signals brain.. really come on now, cut me some bloody slack!

because taking out those encyclopedias were just
too much of a damn hassle.

Encase you are unaware this weekend is the long celebration weekend of May24 in Canada. To tell you the truth, in all my years I've never really paid attention to what the May24 weekend was for.. I just considered it a drinking holiday - like everyone else. So, to fix this little blunder which was undoubtedly caused by the school system I decided to google it; you like anyone else would have probably done long before now. Guess who now feels like a complete idiot for not knowing sooner? Yeah, this girl! Apparently, the May24 weekend is a celebration held on the last Monday before May 25th in honour of Queen Victoria's birthday. Let me be the first non-intoxicated person of my generation to wish her grace a happy 193rd birthday! The party's been great thus far, thanks!

Like the proper (and now slightly more educated) Canadian I am, I've been celebrating this weekend. No, not by camping like most.. that'll be next weekend when the alcohol ban has been lifted. Instead, I started off with Sex Toy Bingo, downtown on Friday night with a couple of my best girls. If you have little shame in participating in things like; Dick Toss, Moan Off's and Sex Position Charades for tie breakers - it's definitely a place where you would flourish. Not only is it entertaining, but all proceeds go to various charities. That's right, you too can win dildos for a good cause; all while sipping on a Porn Star and watching a male pole dancing show.. I love my life. Now to keep things going, last night I joined some friends down at a local watering hole for some good conversation and dancing. Not gonna lie, I had a blast. Especially while walking (never stumbling) through the park at 2am and finding a couple Frisbee's. Finding those probably made my weekend to be honest... hey, shuddup! No judgemental breakfast clubs allowed here!

So yeah, that's been my weekend so far... and it pretty much makes me sound like an alcoholic. I promise I'm not one tho. Alcohol just likes me. 

Tune in for your next dose of sarcasm; airing May 24th!