Blog Archive

Monday 3 September 2012

A Tirade of Sarcastic Proportion

You know, I'd apologise for not updating the blog but then I remembered that I've done nothing of importance in it's place and napped instead.

Because "Fuck da police!" that's why. Seriously, if one more 30 year-old gangsta-wannabe-who-thinks-he's-16 years old says that one more time, I'm gonna loose it. You're an adult, not a child, and odds are you only hate the police because your stupid ass got caught by them at some point or another. This is where you applaud them for a job well done blog readers. If I could muster up the will, I'd give you two thumbs up myself, Sir Gangsta... but alas, I can only manage one of my appendages rising on each hand for such an occasion; sadly, the thumb isn't it. Now that that's out of my system, lets carry on with what seems to be a tirade.

I have this terrible habit where, once every couples weeks or so, I go on a hunt for things on the internet which will infuriate me. You may wonder why I do this, heck, I do myself... and what I've come up with is that I do it because I refuse to be one of those (fully) ignorant people who think they know something, and don't. Ignorance may be bliss to some, but to me, it's a curse; a bit of "knowledge" can go a long way. Mostly what I look up involves politics and the environment, since I'm a hippie (an angry and sarcastic one) at heart  - deal with it. Anyway, these past few weeks have been "one of those days" - yes I said days because, well, why the hell not? - where everytime anything political or environmental pops up , I just want to scream; because you know, I love it when people decide to utterly screw with things which shouldn't be screwed with and decide to ignore the obvious.


Example; The Pipeline proposed out on the west coast of Canada. Yes, I know I've ranted on this before and you know what? I'll bloody continue to since it's still a pressing issue. Especially with Parliament having no sitting days to address the problem for a couple more weeks. You know, it actually boggles my mind how we can land a piece of human technology on Mars (Wuddup up USA!), but we can't seem to find the will to tackle and understand our own planet, and it's possible risks. Risks that shouldn't be taken regardless of financial gain. I'm just saying.

Maybe I'm just "old fashioned" like that and would rather stick to my morals than earn a couple bucks. Yes, the cost to sustain our environment is high, but that's only because we allow certain things to happen... which effect it negatively. Think for a second of the Gulf Coast Oil Spill. That was one of the worst environmental disasters in recent history and of the United States. Mutations occurred to the marine life, and therefor, effected a chain of other animals and it's Eco system. While I understand the need for oil in today's society, it shouldn't come at the cost of things that were here long before us. Animals have used the BC coast line for generations and it's filled with beautiful trees of amazing size, not to mention is freaking gorgeous and an important part of the worlds Eco system. Which of course, just validates the perfect sense the government had to have possessed to cut costs to assisting in the sustainability of said Eco system.. and the many others throughout Canada.

You can't just hit the undo button and get those things back once you've destroyed them... and destruction is exactly what the pipeline can do. We as humans, tend to forget that we're also just another animal. One which is suppose to be more "evolved" than any other... yet all we do is cause the majority of the problems which threaten us? Someone, please explain that to me.

Another little "irritation" I've been having since it's construction season here in Canada, is just what is being used to replace concrete on our roads. Rubberized Asphalt; which seems to be used more and more these days. Now, I don't drive, I'm a city bus dweller and I get the desire for a nice smooth ride. But again, this is one of those there where I can't help but think "Are you fucking kidding me?". For one, the substance is black, black attracts and holds heat better, not to mention its rubber. Therefore we're heating up the earth more, and  more; not allowing it the "Breathe" as it needs to since we've sacrificed that for the smoothness of the road. On top of that, it's harmful to our air. It's great that they're trying to recycle.. I just feel like their doing it wrong. But really, who gives a fuck? We'll be dead before anything bad happens, right?

Odds are, but you know what? In a sick way, I hope to live to see the world go to hell just out of spite for all the apathetic assholes out there who think like that. It shouldn't matter that our life span isn't forever. What should matter is the fact that you live here; the earth doesn't charge rent, that's your landlord. So stop being pricks and return a favour every-so-often. It's not that hard. Turn off a light when you leave the room, don't leave your computer running all the time, take shorter showers, and get used to the fact that winter is a natural thing that happens... especially in Canada. If you don't like it, move somewhere else (I'm looking at you "I'm so happy we didn't have a winter last year" people) or simply what I prefer you do... which is shut the hell up.

I love my country, it's beautiful, resourceful, humble and usually.. the people are pretty decent to deal with. I don't want to see that beauty and grace which is rightfully associated with Canada diminish. There's no valid reason for it.

Get a little Radical and have your say here about the Proposed West-coast Pipeline

Want to learn more about why the Pipeline is a bad idea, head over here for more information and learn how you can get involved.

Tirade complete. Huh... I think I might have to start getting angry and or upset about things more often. I actually blog when it happens. Huzzah! One of the mysteries of the universe is now unsolved! Now, if you'll excuse me, I got to finish prepping for my first day of College tomorrow! Oh, and by prepping, I mean drinking away my feels on the cost of everything thus far.

Until next time, I swear I'm not an alcoholic.

Wednesday 8 August 2012

Oh, Life!

You're one sneaky and strange little bastard, aren't you?

Guess who got the wonderful (and shocking) news that she was going to be an Aunt again just last week? Yep, this bundle of sarcasm and profanity. Along with that roller coaster of emotions, I've been dealing with a Pimp who get's 95% of my income. Now, before you start thinking "OMG IS SHE A HOOKER?!" No, I'm not. The "pimp" in which I speak of is a euphemism if you will, for the college fees I have been pulling out of my ass lately. To go along with that I've recently sustained tendon damage along with a couple bruised bones in my right hand/wrist. Good times man, good times.

Oh well...who knows, I might get the whole "Super Aunt" thing right this time! One can hope, right? Anyway, so my preggo sister got an ultra sound done just yesterday.. turns out she's further along than anyone thought. Forget being 2-3 months (which is what we maxed her out at) nope, instead she's closer to the 5-6 month mark! Her due date? December 24th, and this might sound mean but I refuse to move if her water breaks during Christmas Dinner.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll meet you at the hospital after I drink the turkey gravy! I mean, I might not be conscious - turkey coma and all - but I'll get there!" My brain, how you function. 

As for the "pimp" fees; let me start out saying that I had no plans on continuing my education this fall. Mostly my plan was to try and get a decent paying job to save up for more traveling. My though process was "School will always be there to go back to, I'll never be in the same condition - physically - for traveling ever again." probably not the best mindset but whatever. So, because of those "plans" all the fees leading up to my September semester start date have made it feel like I'm a cheap ass prostitute paying her over glorified pimp (Which I'm not!). Surely I can't be alone on this, right?

Now onwards to the explanation of just how I managed to screw up my hand: I have no bloody clue! If I had to take a stab in the dark at it, I'd guess it was injured at the gym a couple weeks ago. Aside from that I've got nothing. The one thing I can let you know for sure? It hurts like a son of a bitch! Honestly, the only reason I've been able to type this blog is due to tensor bandage I have wrapped around it like a mummy; and even then it's not without some pain.

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, ASSHOLE.
If you don't know what a tendon damage is; it pretty much means that the fibers connecting my bones and muscles has been injured. You know how you're able to put weight on your hands to push yourself up? Yeah, with the current state of my right hand - I can't do that. I would much rather is be fractured or something; it'd heal faster. And before I went to get it checked out this weekend, I had the utterly brilliant idea to go to a Body Flow class at my local gym. Body Flow is a mix of Tai Chi, Pilates and Yoga. Please, hold your applause! Regardless of what I thought the state of injury was - I pretty much shot my hand trying to get through the class. Curse you Downward-Facing-Dog!

I'll be honest with you, my appreciation for being in a Country with Universal Health care sky rocketed after this weekend. Especially one that lets you back pay for visits when your health card is expired.Thank you Canada, I may hate your politics and your wait times suck, but at least I wont have to pay that minimum of $270 Urgent Care bill! Yep, Oh Canada bitches - and that's just the registered nurses fees. None of my other medical expenses that day were added. So again, thank you. My broke ass can't afford another pimp.

Well, I'm starting to cramp up. The updates I promised earlier will still happen, regardless of injury. Sadly, they might just take a bit longer to get to. So shut up and deal with it or go eat your feelings somewhere else :)

Until next time!

Monday 30 July 2012

Activation of Procrastination!

I would have updated sooner but procrastination got the better of me..

Yeah, it's something like that.
Story of my life. Now I don't know about you but even when I have set plans to get something done (with the possibility of being productive looming over my head), I find the most mundane things too entertaining to tare myself away from instead. My brain, how you function so! Alas, I have temporarily beaten my nemesis of procrastination to give a little bit of a heads up to you blog readers...

No I have not forgotten or abandoned you, at least not yet.. At least three major posts will be coming your way in the month of August; starting with one I've actually spent more than 20minutes on writing which I will most likely update on the 5th, so long as everything goes to plan.. and let's be honest; with me you never know. So keep a weary eye on the Blog Twitter and check back regularly - you don't want to miss it! Or maybe you do, but hey, you won't know until you read it.. right?

Anyway, I feel the force shifting and Procrastination is on it's way back with a vengeance. Until the 5th, keep it dirty!

Tuesday 19 June 2012

But It's Not Even Officially Summer Yet...

"Canada is just like Australia, right?" No Mother Nature, it isn't and I'm very upset that you've decided the pull a 'woman move' and get the weather lost in the wrong continent!

Bravo, and people wonder why us ladies get mocked for getting lost. Anyway I haven't updated in a while so today, whilst melting like the polar ice caps, I decided what the hell and walla - here I am with an update. If you haven't clued in yet, it's a hot one out there today. Currently we're sitting at 32c with a Humidex (what it feels like) of 40c - what the actual fuck?! Yes, I get that I'm located in South Western Ontario, but summer hasn't even officially started yet. Give me a break.

As a born and raised Canadian who has actually lived through winters of -45c and over 3 meters of snow, I don't know how to deal with this change of weather - I'm not built for it. You know when you go camping and roast marshmallows in the fire? Yeah well, I'm the marshmallow and the fire is currently the outside.. well that's how I feel about it anyway. Don't judge me like that, you may or may not know my pain! Either way though, stop it, okay never mind keep going. Really, I just don't want my igloo melting... That's my house man.

*Hint* I'd be the swan in this scenario.
Personally, I believe that the weather should never be this hot unless everyone is equipped with their own pools.. and since the recession is being such a bitch to get out of (think of it like trying to escape the In-Laws place) I don't see that coming anytime soon. Luckily, I just got a gym membership at the local GoodLife here in town and aside from getting fit, they have a pool. Huzzah! So tomorrows plan will be to go to the gym early in the morning and not leave until finally being kicked out of the pool 12 hours later. Seems legit if you ask me. Fool proof even.

Alas, this post must come to an end since my laptop is throwing off heat like a flame thrower on my legs. I refuse to put up with that crap today.

Tune in later this week for a blog post of some randomly important topic at the time. Sarcasm will be included.


Sunday 10 June 2012

The Spider Predicament

You know, I'm a huge fan and all but I swear to god if you don't start keeping your pals outside; I'm burning the place down. Got it Spider-Man?!

They'll be back.. in greater numbers! AHHH
Yep, I'm that wussy you and your buddies make fun of for fleeing a room due to a spider. You know what, you and your buddies can hoot it up because they will get you. Mark my words, spiders are the creepy bastards you least suspect, but then bam! There they are crawling your walls; creepily suspending from the ceiling and just plain and simply showing up where they aren't wanted.

Don't get me wrong, I understand the importance of spiders and the crucial role they play in the environment and all that. However, I believe they would be perfectly capable of doing said job outside. Along with any and all other creepy dwellers. Unless they start paying rent, they can stay the hell outta my apartment, that's just the way I see things. Now some of you may be wondering where this hate for spiders stems from, well allow me to entertain you.

You see dear blog reader, at the age of 6 I had to share a bedroom with my older sister (8 year age difference) and she had a love for spiders. That didn't bother me too much, even though she knew I found them gross... but you know what did? The fact that I found out the hard way that she kept spiders throughout the room we had to share. Guess who woke up in the dead of night getting crawled on by spiders? Yep, this poor unsuspecting (at the time) little girl! Not only did I wake up with spiders all over me; sending me off into a total freak out. No, she also thought to make up all these outrageous (but totally believable at the age of 6!) facts on spiders and Ta-Da! My Arachnophobia was born.
How spiders must view me

Needless to say I demanded my other sister's bedroom and forced the two closer in age to share. Pft, guess who also babied up to the eldest sister before the room switch happened? This girl. Guess who got a rude awakening from our eldest sister? Well, it sure as hell wasn't me. Karma; sometimes you got to take it into your own hands.

Now, if you'll excuse me.. I'm looking for a spider I attacked with a broom about 15minuts ago (Gotta make sure it's dead before I can sleep) while trying not to have a panic attack.

I could not survive Australia...


The next episode of chaos and sarcasm will air at that time the schedule says.. you know the one.

Saturday 2 June 2012

It feels like burning

As a member of the snow white pale community, I gotta tell you; sunburns freaking hurt.


Yeah, yeah, I know - I should have worn sunscreen but you know what, when it's freaking cloudy out one does not suspect to get a sunburn tinted like a fire-truck!. Yes, that's my argument and I'm sticking to it! Call me a baby or an idiot, I really don't care so long as you share some aloe with me. I hate this feeling of being parboiled, dammit!

Not only does the upper part of my body look like some cheap ass version of Neopolitian ice cream (Minus the chocolate.) my subconscious has decided to come up with the oddest things to dream about once I'm finally able to sleep.. even by my standards some of the crap it's concocted has been strange. I mean, who the hell dreams about bed shopping while already cozied up in their shitty ass futon bed? (if you have a futon and think it's great, you're lying to yourself.) Apparently, I do. So I waltzed into the random furniture shop in my dream and guess what the beds were inspired by; no not some sexy fantasy or something from a classic fairytale.. no the beds in my dream were inspired by my favourite childhood cartoons and current favourite T.V shows.

Villain from Redwall; haven't watched you since I was 6..HOW?!
"How would you care to try out our 4 star poster dragonball bed, or perhaps the Simpson's inspired bed? You know, if you go up the Teletoon isle and turn left down the ABC Canada isle right before TVOkids furniture begins you might find something you like." Seriously brain, I know you aren't on any drugs and were completely sober that night.. what gives?! Not only was I bed shopping (I went with the Simpson's inspired bed due to comfort factor by the way) but then you go and put me on a playground where some weird version of grounders meets king of the mountain, is being played against some Redwall mouse/rat hoard; where paint-ball guns were used since obviously some serious shit was going down.

Honestly, if I could record my dreams I would be a freaking millionaire.. no joke. That was just one dream among many and it was pretty mild compared to most, freaking ridiculous, but mild. Anyway, I'm going to go eat my feelings over the recent protest results (how I got said sunburn) and maybe find something to ease this feeling of burning.

Till next time; Don't become a lobster, it sucks.

Wednesday 30 May 2012

The Bethesda Centre

So, you mean to tell me you're all about "helping those in need" but then go you off and fuck with an original service, the only one like it offered within all of Southwestern Ontario? Yeah well you know what - fuck you too!

Well now that that's out of my system, if you haven't guessed it yet; I am furious. If you haven't been following me on twitter or checked out my post "This one's for the mothers!"  you might be at a loss as to why; well sit down, shut up and allow me to explain;

Every little bit helps make a difference!
On February 1st, 2012 the Salvation Army announced their plans to shut down the Bethesda Centre located in London, Ontario if the centre was unable to raise a stated amount of money. The Bethesda Centre is an original organization geared to helping Teen Mom's with no where else to go; it offers programs to help these new and expecting mothers to be better able to handle the weight which is Motherhood. It houses 18 of these young ladies and their babies at a time; now tell me, is there anything similar to that in your area? Probably not, and that's what makes me so angry and hurt.

As a resource that has helped countless beginning families since 1955; the Salvation Army, which has sponsored it for years, has been pretty quick to pull the plug on it. From the beginning of February to now, the women working towards saving the Bethesda Centre have raised close to $400,000 CDN, which is about 25% of the impossible goal they were given of $1.5 million. That's not only dedication, but the fact that they've raised so much in so little time tells us that the community cares. On top of that, they've gained the support of the ever popular Justin Bieber, who's own mother gave birth to him while staying at the Bethesda Centre. Rumour's have also circulated that at least one other unnamed celebrity has offered backing as well.

Again, this is called concern and caring; something that people say they do, but don't often show results of. Justin Bieber has demonstrated the results of, by donating the proceeds which he himself would be receiving from his latest single; Mother's Day Dedication - Turn To You which he wrote from his mother. Now, the $400,000 mentioned above would be able to cover costs of the centre for roughly 2 years; thus allowing the proceeds of Bieber's single to make it's way over and make the difference it promises. However, because the money has not been handed over right away, the Salvation Army has denied the extension of the deadline; which depending on when you read this is either tomorrow, or today; May 31st.

One of the questions that should be asked and answered is "Why would such an organization like the Salvation Army turn down the support of a popular celebrity in today's society, and reject the deadline extension when it is of practically zero risk to them?"

This is their chance; let's help them have it!
There isn't a reason or excuse; that's the bottom line and it's disappointing. Mind you, the Salvation Army has argued that it would be "irresponsible" (kind of feels like they're calling the Bethesda Centre "Irresponsible" doesn't it?) to fund this one of a kind resource catering to young (soon-to-be) teenage mothers when the funds could be "better used" elsewhere; like the Centre of Hope, also located in London, Ontario. See, that just irks me. I've recently moved back London and as a seasoned citizen; I'm aware that there are various other outlets to help people in need of Drug and Alcohol rehabilitation. Hell, I lived in the city for the majority of my life and all you see outside of the Centre of Hope is people doing drug deals with no one so much as batting an eye lash.. Now explain to me how that's a better service compared to one which has proven it's ability to make a change? The majority of the women involved in the Save Bethesda campaign are either employee's of the Centre (who also took a pay cut in order to help keep the doors open longer,) or former residents who want to help save a place which once, saved their lives.

Sadly, it seems that apathy (a lack of caring) has made itself known in a worldwide organisation based solely on caring and helping when no one else does. Bethesda Centre for Teen Mom's or The Centre of Hope for Drug and Alcohol rehabilitation; neither is greater than the other or more important. However, look at society, and actually see what is in more need. London has a great number of Teen Mothers who, if Bethesda is closed, will surely be left to fend for themselves; That's what we're subjecting these young girls to, along with their children.

Want to learn more about what makes the Bethesda Centre? Click Here

Help make a change; Donate Here and let's show them that it's never too late to help!

A Justin Bieber Fan? You can help too!

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You're regular programmed sarcasm will return shortly..